I Can Hear Animals, But They're All Savage
I can hear every animal's thoughts. They are all rude. The racehorse calls me a loser. The cat says I smell. The dog mocks my single life. I shoveled horse manure for eight months. Then a $3.2 million champion horse was about to be put down. I heard him scream: "It's a rock! Stuck in my hoof!" I pulled the horseshoe. The rock came out. The horse stood up. The room went silent. Now every rich pet owner wants me. But the animals? They still won't shut up.
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